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When tito Bill died, I also thought of Daddy. I thought of how lucky Leonard and his siblings were for getting to see their father everyday, be with him especially on special occasions, all before he died. I thought of how unfortunate I was. That my father, though he is alive, I cannot see him. I cannot even talk to him well. I cannot even text him, "Daddy, I love you! I miss you!" because I have just found out that somebody else has been replying to my texts. And I hope you all know who that someone is. Because if you don't, then don't bother asking. It just sucks, knowing that Daddy is there, but he can't be that to me. He used to be my best friend. When everyone was fighting over my mom, I would sneak away and bond with Daddy. We used to just sit in the car and listen to the Beatles[Tito Bill made him a copy of their every song], or just talk about life. Last summer my cousins and I talked about him. They told us that it didn't matter if he was a bad husband, what mattered more was that he was a good Dad. But what if, even that, he can't do?

When my mom finally moved out with my siblings, I stayed behind. Because I loved him so much. It's crazy, I know. I never hated him. I just hated what he's become. And that made me mature super fast. All those things I just had to face on my own. I have found God as my refuge. But of course, God isn't daddy. God doesn't listen to the Beatles. He doesn't get mad when I decide to have a boyfriend from Tacurong.

Time's running out. And I just sit here. disappointed and hurt, because he's way too confused to make a decision.

My favorite love song ever:

If I fell - the Beatles

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0numxvac4E&feature=related