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crappy, i know. but hey. I have zero skills with poems, how much more with paggawa ng tula, right? anyhow.
gah, I know it's old news, but I'm so proud of teh cousin, RD-for being 1st runner-up on Campus Girl. I helped her with her questions, and we bought her friggin casual dress together, damnit! haha. Her whole family was there, ate Gen, kuya Ranger and ate Delle even came home just for the show. soo much fun. and i am so glad that rd didn't get pissed.
i'd love to show photos, but rd can kill me. soo

i saw yssa last friday, too. and it felt weird. i was seated next to ate delle and she was like, "was that your best friend?" and i said yeah, but i thought, "doesn't feel like it though". When I set out to gain her back in the summer, all i could ever think of was how all my favorite memories are my memories with her, and that i could not just let one stupid fight end our friendship. i'm glad i gave it a shot, but was it worth it? when i asked her if we could be bestfriends again, i kind of hoped that she would say no. it was just the back of my head saying that i should try, even though i truly knew i shouldn't have. of course she said yes. she's a nice girl. i remember back in 2007, some girl started calling yssa her best friend and yssa was too nice to react, so i told her to back off. what if that's the case with us now? i bet she's just waiting for me to finally give up, and let all this go. When we made up, all I could think of was all the stuff we've been doing before the fight, late night talks, long IM sessions, diary-sharing, going out. all that stuff. But are we doing them now? no. because we're busy. But what about the zero awkwardness, the times when we would see each other and just talk til it's time to go? Not happening. I miss all those times. But they're gone now. I feel like myself when I officially got back with Arnem. I was looking for all the cheezyness from intrams, but they weren't there. And it hit me. It wasn't a stupid fight. She broke my trust[and i've already forgotten about it] and I broke hers. We didn't talk for like a year, and when we became friends again I was like, "woah. so what now? what are we gonna talk about? what's up with her? do we still have the same interests?"

We're not as close as we used to be anymore, in fact I'm wayy closer to RD now. And it's sad. [yssa part only]. We have grown up. But we've grown apart, too. I want to give this another shot, but damn it. I am hella tired. She means the world to me, and now I wonder if I mean as much to her. But i don't know. When I was a sophomore I wrote a letter to her asking if it was me or the lezbo, and I honestly thought she picked me. So when Inna told me when she was like, "best friend ko pa ba siya?" I was horror-struck. She gave me up. Just like that. I can say I'm a new person now. I'm more open-minded, wiser-even just a bit, but we don't click anymore. Bad trip.

Moving on, I'll finish up my poem, look for a piece for my pagbabalita in Filipino tomorrow-I'm the anchor. IKR
exams on wednesday and thursday, christmas party on friday. hollah!
went to marbel with valerie yesterday, and saw freaking NM on cable last night.
I'm sneezing, and I feel like i'm breathing underwater. I feel horrible.