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What do you love most?

2011-10-09T21:18:00.001+08:00

I think a lot.

Ask me anything and I'll spill my guts

darn it. i miss you ):

2011-10-09T21:17:00.001+08:00

WHO ARE YOU? :)

Ask me anything and I'll spill my guts

BLOG THAT I HAVE LOVED SO MUCH,

2011-04-01T21:10:00.004+08:00

I'm sorry but I have moved to a journal and a Tumblr and a Diaryland.

(Wednesday, November 11, 2009 / 5:17 PM) - (Friday, May 21, 2010 / 9:47 AM)

i hate this part

2010-05-21T09:47:00.003+08:00

i can't just leave my blog.

but i hate having to feel like it's just here..waiting for me to update.

and when i update irregularly, i feel like i'm taking it for granted, and that's pretty unfair.

i have been blogging since i was in elementary, i've lost track of all my blogs-like the ones i've kept for a few weeks each.

blogs take a lot of work, and i'm afraid i don't think i can keep one right now.

don't laugh at me for melodramatic guys.

i love blogging. this is just so hard for me. ugh

no turning back now.

blogging friends, don't worry. i'll still be stalking ya'll.haha

formspring.me

2010-05-12T14:30:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/vanessamarielim

Reading.

2010-05-06T19:37:00.002+08:00

tinamaan nanaman ako ng katamaran. T_T

summer reading list

April 15 - 22 Perks of Being a Wallflower, Blue Moon

April 20 -24 Shadowland

April 24- May 3 The Last Song-which, btw. was GOOOOOD. i cried buckets at the end.

May 5 1:36am - 3:47am A Series of Unfortunate Events Book 1 The Bad Beginning

Currently Reading Book 3, The Wide Window.

I tried reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo the other day, cause I saw on BBC that it was a bestseller, but it's boring as hell. I hate reading boring stuff. Ugh. Like I said before, I have not finished a single classic. And by the way, I'm taking AB English. Which will most likely force me into reading bad books. Dang it.

Windstruck

2010-04-29T20:07:00.004+08:00

so the other day we got this huge suitcase of my sister's stuff, cause she was cleaning up our tiny dorm room in davao and i decided to poke around for some fun stuff, and i found some cds of korean movies, and after finishing all the dvds i bought the last time i was in davao, we decided to give them a shot. we watched disc 1 of my sassy girl(disc 2 had too many scratches on it), my BF is type B, and the last was Windstruck.

In case you're as bored as i am, and i'm guessing we all are, try watching it. I think it's on YouTube. During the beginning Valerie and I were literally laughing our heads off at the sheer stupidity of the movie, but then by the second part we were crying our hearts out. I haven't laughed that hard in soo long.

YesAsia Editorial Description:

Opposites attract in Windstruck, the successful 2004 romantic comedy/drama from writer/director Kwak Jae Yong, the man behind the 2001 box office mega hit My Sassy Girl! Jang Hyuk, star of such films as Volcano High and Please Teach Me English, takes on the role of Myung Woo, a mild-mannered teacher who gets mistaken for a purse snatcher while chasing the real culprit down! To Myung Woo's surprise, he finds himself arrested by Gyeong Jin, a gung-ho, tough-as-nails young cop played by none other than Jeon Ji Hyun, star of My Sassy Girl and Il Mare.
Although this hilarious case of mistaken identity is eventually sorted out, Myung Woo has to return to the police station only a few days later in order to carry out some "community service" by accompanying a police officer while he walks his day-to-day beat. However, Myung Woo is shocked to learn that he's going to be following "Dirty Harriet" herself, Gyeong Jin! After spending the entire night handcuffed to his sexy, but dangerous partner as she chases down no-good criminals, Myung Woo begins to discover that he's falling for the brassy, and yet, sassy law enforcement agent! But as a relationship begins to develop between the two, will Gyeong Jin's over-enthusiastic police tactics get in the way of her love for Myung Woo? Is "happily ever after" even a possibility for these two? The answers to these questions and more are waiting to be discovered in Windstruck, a film which many fans regard as an unofficial companion piece to My Sassy Girl!

I'll be in Davao this weekend for George's Baptism. I can't wait to see her, she just grows soo fast.

Finally got my schedule. (:
I know it's pretty stupid of me to cover up my course, but some people may not like to read my entries, so yeah. xD

formspring.me

2010-04-27T16:54:00.001+08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/vanessamarielim

blog!

2010-04-18T19:25:00.000+08:00

i'm still in a daze. like, a couple of weeks ago i was in davao, and then the next thing i know, i'm back in tacurong. .packing for baguio. then a week later i'm like back home.

i still can't believe all that. i mean, there i was. in baguio, together with 10,500 other YFCs worshipping God. There's more to that, of course. During the days we had around 20 different workshops all over the city and also different competitions. sadly, i wasn't able to get into the workshops since they had a limit of only 200 people per workshop. Note to self: must sign up for workshop on next ILC--which happens to be in Cagayan de Oro, so yeah. I am definitely coming, unless by I'm gonna have to attend summer classes(gasp!).

Like I said before, I have already enrolled and..saw Greysh in person. Our reactions were funny. I kept staring at her and the next thing I know she vanishes.lolz

so anyway, whenever people ask me what my course is, i kind of cringe because it's pretty embarassing-to me, at least. They think I'm gonna be a teacher, and yeah, that's like moral and all, but for people who really know me, that is like, so un-vanessa-like.

Back to the ILC, it was insane, on the second day we all went to SM Baguio to watch the creative competitions like the battle of the bands, set dance and the newest one-individual dance. we were all so glad that the international delegates decided to join contests, unlike last year when they just walked around and did nothing.lol.

anyway, they joined the individual dance showdown, the band--they were so fun, they were all malaysians and they did 3 local songs and the set dance, where they all joined with their cute checkered backpacks with this uh-may-zing song. true, they weren't break dancing or crumping like metro or southern tagalog, but they were good. They were..hataw.

The theme, btw, was TO THE MAX, and the sessions at night were all about living your life to the max and not settling for less..and i was like, thanks, Jesus, for yet again another thing to keep me up at night. lol

anyway, just so that i could take photos and videos to show all my friends who weren't able to come on facebook. last year i sat wayy back and i didn't get to listen very well, so i made bawi this time around. I am still in awe of the fact that it's gonna be in CDO next year, but we're all praying for as much participants as the last one, because when luzon people hear mindanao, they immediately ask aren't you muslims there or something? and i'm like, no. pero my neighbor is ampatuan, so if you mess with me you better watch out--and that's a perk, only with taxi drivers who try to be funny with us.haha

anyway, we were all hanging out at MOA with our luggage, while waiting for the shuttle to Manila, right? and this lady comes up to me and asks what's up and i say we're going to baguio, and she asks me what school i'm from, and i say we're from Youth for Christ, and her face immediately drops. Seriously, screw you, woman. And everyone else who thinks of YFC funny. You have NO idea what you're missing.

photoblog!

2010-04-14T19:02:00.007+08:00

i'm back!

i came home from davao on april 7th in the evening and finally met my phone. yeyyy! i was supposed to get the e63, the one i posted a couple months back..til i saw this one. actually i saw one even better than this, but i couldn't wait to save up for more money, so yeah. i packed all night and flew to manila the next day. (:

anyway. i'm too tired to type, so lemme just post some pics, kay? (:

the stage.

one of the photogs in front of me.

during the daily mass

this is from where we slept.

that's just part of the 10,500 YFCs worshipping.

Jeffri's back. :D

@Manila Cathedral

FUNFUNFUN. Next year it's gonna be in Cagayan de Oro.

prep

2010-03-26T10:13:00.002+08:00

davao now. just came back from my medical check-up at ADDU. i was supposed to get there on a jeep, but i got confused on which one i should get on, so i went on a cab instead. fudge. i really need to learn how to ride jeeps. now. when i sent my application form, the course i filled in was business management. when i took the entrance exam, i chose accountancy. during my medical exam, they asked me which course i was taking, i said english--my pre-law. i think i'm getting myself in big trouble. i hope not, though. (:

i'll be here til April 6th, the first day of registration. i'm here at my grandfather's house, and they don't have wi-fi. so everytime i use the laptop he's right behind me. i hate going online with someone behind me. >_<

i cannot text you with a drink in my hand, eh eh

2010-03-21T03:55:00.010+08:00

i graduated yesterday. it was just so surreal, that after four years, it's over. time check:

rewind

got up at 7:20, got out of the house at 7:50, program was supposed to start at 8 in the morning-according to the invite. so went to dad's, and we arrive in school and valerie's not there yet, and i'm like, wtf. the march is ending, and she is not here yet! she arrives like, 10 minutes later and she doesn't even care she's not marching. gah. that was the graduation i imagined. the highlight of the program were Rigel's valedictory address where he literally cried like a baby. I almost cried, too. But not because of that. lulz. It was cause Daddy was gone when it was my turn for the diploma, but thank goodness i was laughing my head off. Rigel did NOT stop crying. it was epic. the other highlight was when Jason Jemio soccer player graduated. He was in a wheelchair and his leg was in a brace and both of them were crushed thanks to some bastardly trike driver. i haven't ridden the back ride ever since i found out. anyway, he has partial amnesia and he's never gonna be as good as he was in soccer. we were all just so happy for him. OH, RIGHT. confirmed - Shariah had a 20 thousand peso nosejob, when she hasn't even paid her autoload debt from Janilyne. haha. she had fat inserted on the bridge of her nose, with her mom. She told us herself, while she was busy telling us she fell off the bed. oh, please. if that's what's gonna happen if you fall off the bed, and other stories you've been making up(i.e., a pimple) then i wonder, why didn't we think of that before? oh, right. cause it's impossible.

i'll skip the boring parts. here was today's itinerary:

lunch - Janilyne, Mama's Love Resto

after lunch - PM's, ate mangoes. wayyy too full. slept til 3pm

3pm - Christian's, stayed away from coke. helladorable nephews.

5pm - Flery's. watched This Is Our Story with Katrina Salvador and Erica. Aircon. yeahhh

8pm - Blackout. Precious'. She had Ice Cream!

We were picked up by Baki(Daniel) and Tsikoy(Cj) on Baki's pick-up, and we stopped at Barrio Cinco to get on Cedie's minivan. ATE CAMILLE! guess who was driving? tikboy. haha. Tikboy from RSPC when I was in 5th grade, guy who drove us to Banga. lulz. So you guys ARE related.

9pm - Daniel's. Sleepover. Finally, REAL FOOD. Carbonara. Their house is so pretty. :)) But the internet, is horrible. Smart Bro Prepaid sux. May-may whipped up a martini out of Vodka, and i drank like a shot, and i was like "hey, cool. it's not hot! at ALL!" then fifteen minutes later i go, "WTF. I feel soooo hot" Francis, Arnem and PM have been drinking hard liquor and francis is hilarious. Although i don't think we'll be able to post photos or the videos, not until we get our hands on our Good Moral Certificates. hah!

Tomorrow morning, Montessori reunion. Nona, Tads and Cham are coming. Then on the afternoon, we'll catch Rigel's supposedly super long celebration. we call him gawd, actually. like dawg and god put together? lulz. inside joke.

Schedule: April 6-15. Passing of reqs for ADDU (still need to get an appointment at the clinic, i'm gonna have to miss Ray's April 4th celebration to get an appointment. boo-hoo)

ILC : April 8-14. in Baguio. God is truly uh-may-zing. I'm going to Baguio.

I can do this.

^^ did teh post yesterday at daniel's. but then the prepaid ran out, soo.

i was not able to sleep at all, so i just fooled around with arnem and francis who were drunk and crazy. lulz.

old.

2010-03-17T18:18:00.003+08:00

i'll be graduating on Saturday, and frankly I just cannot wait to get it over with.
i cut myself on the middle finger yesterday, i know, i know, i'm a genius.
gah, i'm not in the mood to blog. ciao

newsflashhhh

2010-03-14T17:17:00.002+08:00

In addition to the general admission rewquierements, and enetering law student must be a holders of a four-year Bachelor of Science in Arts or equivalent degree and must have earned at least twelve units in English, 6 units in Pilipino, 12 units in Spanish, 6 units in Mathematics, ans 18 units in Social Science (History, Political Science, Economics, Philosophy, Psychology, Current Issues, etc.)
(source)

yes. i am now aiming to become a lawyer. i've realized that i am in fact horrible at math, and there is no way that i can possibly pass, not to mention the board exam-the mother of all board exams, as some people like to say. so yeah. still thinking of which prelaw course to take though. political science seems to be boring, then again i heard it's mostly in english, so i may understand it all. any suggestions? (:

love

2010-03-08T19:32:00.002+08:00

Dear Anyone with Low Self Esteem,

You’re positively beautiful. I love your freckles on your nose, they bring out the colors in your eyes. Your hair frames your face perfectly. Your laugh is contagious and you will always make me smile. Those scars on your knees? They show me that you’ve fallen. That sparkle in your eyes when you smile? They show me you picked yourself up. Your smile is drop dead gorgeous, wear it more often. Who gives a shit if you have acne? Who cares if you’re overweight or underweight, tall or short, tan or pale, an A cup or a D cup? All that matters is that someone thinks you’re beautiful just the way you are and that someone is me. I wish you could love yourself the way I love you, the way your family loves you, the way your friends love you.

http://thelovelybones.tumblr.com

i want to fall inlove againn. but then i would get hurt again.
i guess i have to find someone who'll make it all worth it.

the bucket list.

2010-03-05T18:59:00.004+08:00

ask me anything

---

It would appear that you are experiencing one problem after another. When one problem is resolved, another seems to immediately take its place. It could well be that you are trying too desperately to evade or to escape from your present situation and it is 'you' that is causing the problems to manifest themselves. You need to slow down a little.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

You feel tired - worn out and listless. The last thing that you want to do is to be in an open conflict with those around you that are forever tormenting you. What to do? That's the rub. You are feeling that you are being choked - unable to breathe.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.

~http://colorgenicstest.com/

i was lying in bed last night, with the radio on, when they started playing rivermaya and then parokya ni edgar, two of the only three bands i've succumbed into liking[the other's eheads], ever since i entered highschool.
I remembered the other night, when flery and i were talking about graduation, and she wanted me to cry, but i'm not the kind of person who cries easily. I, unfortunately, am the kind of person who keeps in everything til the moment comes that i would just breakdown for hours.
All this talk about highschool makes me want to just fast forward into college, because i know that in college, i'm gonna have to move on, and not dwell on the past. I've seen my college friends; they're not like, oh gosh, i miss high school all the time. nope, they're too busy thinking about passing and requirements and stuff.

i was absent this morning. that's not usually news, but that means i only have 11 lates or 3 absences left, or else i won't be marching on the 19/18th. anyway, this morning i was too lazy to take a shower, so i decided not to go to school. then at noon, i was supposed to go to school, but when i turned the telly on and hbo was airing this:

how could i say no to that? i've always, always wanted to see the bucket list. Greysh used that title before, and Jessica Zafra wrote a review on it in Twisted Flicks, and last night i watched the last 5 seconds of the movie, so i just could not let the chance pass.
epic movie. it was everything i knew it would be. i almost even cried, except my my mom was there and she's honestly not the type who watches movies like that. anyway, yeah.
the typical reaction to watching this film is to make my own bucket list, but nay. i'm going to live my life first. and just like Morgan Freeman, i'll make a list when i'm about to die. err, of course i'm not sure as to when i'm gonna die, maybe when it feels like so. honestly, i' belong to the 4% who'd want to know when they're gonna die.

feeling very silent today

2010-03-04T15:46:00.006+08:00

i posted the cheating video last night, and Ron-ron, who's real close with CJ, saw it and told him this morning, before I arrived. So when I finally did, all the boys were like furious, and Ray was being his usual retarded, loud and gay self, making parinig about privacy when i was only inches behind me. i honestly could not care any less. he's one of the things i look forward to leaving in high school. he's so damn controlling and just gay. yesterday we were all crowding-around 25 ppl in front of Natz' notebook to watch This is Our Story, Flery's movie, and he was so desperate at trying to distract us, he started singing and yelling. gahd. he's crazy, i tell you. another crazy person is Tezza, her moodswings are driving me crazy. she's pretty much a g-girl by now. and by g-girl, i mean that she's as much of an ass like the g-boys. gwapo boys daw. suuure, kids. gahd. if today was any other day, i would hit someone. but it's hot and i was hellah dry, i just shut up and made these:

I'm not good, I know. I was just passing time. We haven't started doing the grad practices yet, but we're still not allowed to skip school. it's bull.

goodbye highschool.

2010-03-02T19:33:00.002+08:00

are OVER. chyeaaa.

Graduation's on March 20th, and we're having teh seniors' night on the 12th, i think.
exams were uh.. dating gawi.
open notes, open books, the works.
i even took a video of it, but i'll upload it tomorrow. lulz

goodbyes are never easy.

2010-02-28T19:04:00.002+08:00

let me tell you about the vanessa from three years back.

when our parents asked us where we were studying high school, valerie said Girls-now more commonly known as Siena college, and I said i wanted co-ed, my present school.
Valerie thought I was crazy, and I just said I didn't want to go to where everyone else is going. By everyone I meant all the girls from our class. I wanted to prove that there was more to life than mean girls who liked to pick on us for hating OPM, or because we didn't run fast enough during patintero, or because we liked to say totally a lot.
I wanted to see what was out there, and while i was ready to move on and meet new people especially the ever-famous yap, valerie was pissed.
Now... These people we're saying goodbye to are our actual friends now, and it kills me to have to not see them anymore. but i guess i have to keep moving forward, cause that's life. either you go with the flow, or you get stuck. :3

random moment:
Usher is on Myx.
me: val palitan mo nga yan, yuck usher.
rd: grabe naman to preng.
me: ew preng, he's old!
rd: pero magaling naman siya eh.
me: yeah but he's old. like backstreet boys old. [aj mCclean is on myx with his teenage thing vid]

this morning i was cleaning up and i put on this random cd from 6th grade. what was the first track? confessions part 2. i found myself singing the whole time. haha. i take back what i said. i still love him.

i don't think i'm so proud of our movie anymore.

2010-02-26T18:32:00.005+08:00

Ninja 1 is Jofel
Ninja 2 is Cj
Ninja 3 is Daniel
Ninja 4 is Rigel

Flery edited this, just thought you guys should see it. lolz
their movie is better than ours by a mile. so yeah. i may not be posting our movie. :D

Tell me if it works.
I don't know what's up with me again. Finals is on Monday, and I'm spending like hell. I hate it!
Slept over at rd's last night, bonding bonding bonding.

I tried to finish the IP, but I guess I was too tired. Gah. I'm off to Flery's for tomorrow, I'll try to get it done. I have to be stress-free by Sunday.
We passed our movie Yesterday, and frankly it wasn't any good. I keep thinking I only like Flery's movie better because it's all new to me. I don't know.
I promised Rd and her sisters we were gonna watch the movies, but the dude from arkowa[place where we had the movie edited] is taking forever to get me a copy, and Flery's still having issues with burning the movie.

freedom of speech

2010-02-25T22:12:00.003+08:00

I just found out that my cousin has given birth last night. (Kuya Ranger's wife, Genevieve).

Valerie's going to Davao tomorrow to see George. [Georgina Franchesca.. we all picked out the name the moment we found out it was gonna be a girl]

I can't wait to see the photos! Sure, she's prolly still red, sleeping and weird, but hey.

When you guys complain about how irritating and stuff it is that your friends are talking about your blogs and saying exaggerated stuff about it, I'm like gee, i'm glad no one in school's interested in my blog, but now. They're like, Van, nakita ko yung blog mo ba. Ikaw ha, kung ano-ano yang mga pinagsasabi mo. Perfect. My one place to tell the world how I feel. Revealed for all of my real-life friends to see.

I used to blame Fle for this, but now that we're both going through the same thing(everyone's talking about her blog as well), i decided to let it go. I wanna get a new URL, or maybe put up a password, but then whatevs. I don't care what they say. lulz

Exam's on Monday. Anthonyms, dating gawi. (:

clearance period

2010-02-25T03:14:00.003+08:00

I never thought I could use half of my gtec in 24 hours, but yeah.
Note to self: take down anything and everything your teacher talks or writes about in class. You never know when your teacher decides to be an a-hole, and requires 65 pages of notes. I haven't slept in two nights, and I swear, I'm a zombie. What kind of school gives 3 days for clearance signing? gahd. My right hand's been working round the clock writing 30 pages of Physics and 3[(3)(13)] pages of PEHM. gahhhd.

So this morning, Fle came undone. But in a way better manner than I would have. If it was me, I would've yelled at anyone and everyone and cry like a baby. I'm actually pretty happy that I didn't edit the damn movie. So yeah, she was crying and all and I seriously did not know what to do, cause if I hugged her, I knew she was gonna freak. I just had this sudden urge to comfort her and stuff. When she was done, she said she wanted to go home, but she didn't want to go home with her eyes puffy and all, so treated me out for lunch. That's one thing we have in common, I like to splurge and eat whenever I feel like crap. So yeah. We just talked and stuff, and it felt super good to be a friend. I remember all those times I called her a bitch[we talked about it earlier], and now there I was, feeling her pain. It's 4:24am and I'm at Ariel's with PM, printing out the final script for the movie. I talked to her a while ago and she wouldn't say a thing about the movie. Oh well.

so okay, i'm kind of not feeling like uploading the whole movie online, cause it's srsly taking forever. Sorry guys.

This is one of those posts where I have a lot to say, but I'm not in the mood for story telling.

Another note to self: when you feel like blogging, get a pen and paper. Like you used to.

Goodnight peeps. (:

there's a butterfly on my blog. ok, ew.

2010-02-21T23:13:00.005+08:00

flery:mag-cbox ka nga, di ako makacomment sa blog mo. :D

i have been itching for an update for like, ever.

i was actually supposed do it today, cause the newspaper was supposed to get done today, but then i totally missed the part that i was working on an 8x14 page when the paper we were printing on was 8x13. i am so unbelievably smart, i knowww.

btw. POSTER! made this one just for my bloggie, cause the one posted in school-the one we paid for is copyrighted, and we weren't allowed to get a copy. whatevs. forgive the fonts, for some reason i'm suddenly not the administrator and i couldn't install my fonts. boo-hoo.

i'm pretty excited for the movie, believe it or not. we finished dubbing yesterday, and Ray said we're having subtitles. I actually hate subtitles, because subtitles are for people who don't listen to what people say on tv, except when it's in a foreign language, but still. If that's the only way my classmates can comprehend the story, then suureee. lolz.

so have i ever told you guys that i passed ADDU? well, yeah. AND i'm taking accountancy. I know, i've hated math for the longest time, but i swear i'll take it seriously now. so i didn't get probation. and i'm like, no way. not in the mayabang way, of course not. this is math and another school we're talking about. i can't not get probation, cause i know i'm failing math without the extra class thingy. so i guess this calls for a challenge, eh? good luck to me.

P.S. i shall post the full movie on youtube. // does anyone know how to make a PDF file?

tumblin

2010-02-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

real post in 2 days. (:

relief and agitation

2010-02-17T16:46:00.002+08:00

okay. so Ray, being the perfectionist that he is, decided to get a professional do the editing and the poster. and also, the damn cd case. so what am i to do? nothing. fine. as long as i'm able to graduate, i'm good. there's really nothing you can do when Ray's the leader, what he wants, he gets. So now I'm exerting my efforts to the newspaper in Filipino. which, by the way, is due on Tuesday.

so much shit going on i'm not getting enough sleep. a couple more weeks to go. i cannot wait!

P.S. The trailer and all the movie stuff i planned on posting here are pretty much zero now. sorry guys. (:

boys are JERKS

2010-02-13T18:04:00.002+08:00

...that should be hung naked for all the world to see.

prom was...boring. it started pretty late, the invites were literally crappy, and the decoration wasn't as beautiful as last year's by a mile.

the reason why i've been offline for a while is because of the movie. i've been editing and watching tips on youtube every night til 11pm and my eyes get realllll sore the next day. this movie is seriously getting on my nerves. i mean, dude. it's just 10 per cent of my grade, and no matter how hard we try, we're not gonna get 95 average grades on english. plus we still have the newspaper for filipino, which i'm not even sure we're passing cause our teacher's on leave. on leave! and we're weeks away from graduating. srsly. i cannot wait to get all this shiz over with. (:

The nicest thing for me is sleep, then at least I can dream.
-Marilyn Monroe

Realistic, not pessimistic.

2010-02-07T16:01:00.004+08:00

got back from davao today. i took the ADDU entrance exam yesterday morning, but i'm still undecided. no actually, i'm undecided all over again. People have been telling me that Business Management is not something you should spend 4 years studying, especially when you're actually planning on working in a bank. And you all know how bad I am with math, right? If not, then let's just put it this way. When I took the ACET, I was first to finish the english, smiling to myself cause it was literally easy breezy for me. But when it was time for math, i was the first to finish, too. after Eeny, meeny, miny, moe-ing my way through the 23 questions. Honestly, i think i only got about.. 3 right. And they all had to do with the percentage or population stuff. I'm really good with those stuff. But everything else, PHAIL. omg, even with fractions! I mean, don't think I'm stupid, but I just have really bad memory. And I haven't been taking math seriously in a long time until now. Sure, we had fractions in fourth grade, but i don't know. I just forgot, I guess. Even the properties, gah.
I hate this. Talking about exams, I mean. My classmates do this all the time, especially after Physics, and I'm just like, "oh, please. shut up, will you? it's done. Your scores won't change even if you keep talking about the stupid test." Now I just did it. Yeah, well.
Accounting. I'll work for it. Ate Danja's awesome with math, so I'll ask her to tutor me.

Anyway, Flery did some sample Videos for their movie, and my gahd. She is good. Not really good, but better than me by a mile. Good thing PM's lending me his laptop overnight, I can actually learn how to use Vegas. l0lz.

So what else is happening? oh, right. NDEA's tomorrow. HAH! good luck to me.
And prom. I just love the dress I'm wearing. Love love love. No mask yet though. lulz

movie post.

2010-01-30T17:52:00.002+08:00

We went to Surallah yesterday for our taping, and it went pretty well. Ephol wasn't able to make it, the weather went off for a bit, but we were able to shoot all day without any major setbacks. We used Elcid's minivan that had an open top, or something and Janilyne brought her family, and they brought food for everyone. I'm still pretty tired from yesterday, but all I wanted to point out today was that we didn't fight. And I'm happy. I used to be all leader-ish, but then after getting into fights with PM and Ray repeatedly about my attitude, I finally learned to suppress my agitation. Last week, Monday, group 2 found out about us-well, me actually, trash talking them and you could literally feel the tension in class. People from Group 1 were not hanging out with people from Group 2, and our english teacher noticed it and talked to us for an hour. So I just shut up. Honestly, it feels weird having to shut up and not have a say, but it's done wonders for me and my friends. Whenever something's up, I would just tell them in their face. I just hate having to be all worried when I find out that people know I'm backstabbing them, so yeah.
We watched yesterday's clips this afternoon, and the clips from the other camera were awful. The scenes were really good, but they were all pixelated, so we decided to do them again. We have plenty of scenes to cover before February 5th, so I'm crossing my fingers we'll be able to pull this off.
It's all about karma.

life post

2010-01-27T19:34:00.003+08:00

I've been missing out. All these projects I've had to do, gah. They're all so annoying, but what can I do, right? This is my freaking future I'm working for. We had our teachers' day today. This morning we didn't have a program, although I thought we did.. so I was absent. My eyes still feel horrible, and I can't stay up late as much as I used to anymore.

I'm busy, sure. But I'm not having ANY fun. sucks. Speaking of things that suck, have you guys heard of The Last Song? yeah well that's where I got our movie title. Anyway, Gian has a copy of the book, and she let me borrow it. Then just when I get interested, she takes it back. And there's nothing, nothing that keeps me up at night like a new book. Especially when I can't read it. urgh.

So. About the BFF. I have to move on. Did I mention it took me two years to forget about my ex and THAT year? I keep wondering how long it would take to erase the memory of my life with her. But hey. Maybe someday we'll be friends again. For now, she's gonna have to be Undesirable No. 1.

emo mode.

2010-01-24T10:37:00.001+08:00

I gotta say what’s on my mind.
Something about us, doesn’t seem right… these days.
Life keeps getting in the way.
Whenever we try, somehow the plan is always rearranged.

It’s so hard to say,
But I gotta do what’s nest for me.
You’ll b okay…

I’ve got to move on, and be who I am.
I just don’t belong here,
I hope you understand.
We might find a place in this world someday, but at least for now
I gotta go my own way.

Don’t wanna leave it all behind.
But I get my hopes up and I watch them fall every time.
Another color turns to grey.
And it’s just too hard… to watch it all… slowly fade away.

I’m leaving today
Cause I gotta do what’s best for me.
You’ll be okay…

What about us?
What about everything we’ve been through?
What about trust?
You know I never wanted to hurt you.
What about me?
What am I supposed to do?

I gotta leave but I’ll miss you

DEAR YSSA:

2010-01-22T18:52:00.005+08:00

Hirap rin pala pag nawalan ka ng best friend. tssskkkk. LINSYAK! Nakakamiss :( Di lang naman ako ang bumitiw e, Pati siya kumalas na rin. Gusto ko rin namang ayusin a. Hindi ko lang alam kung papaano. Pero di nga, nakakamiss si van.

So. Yssa and I are dunzo, right? and she posts this thing on her damn blog.
okayyy. I have been keeping this all in for a while now, and she just blew it.

out of sight, out of mind.

I deleted her on my facebook, crossed her off my links section cause i only put my friends there, and bombarded myself with quotes to keep me from remembering what i cannot believe i did.

love your enemy. but don't forget [s]he is not your friend.
-Paulo Coelho

this is what happened. this is my side of the story. one day i was forced to believe that this friendship was over, and i wanted to know if she felt the same. and i can't ask her flat out, so i had to provoke her, and she tends to get emotional, so i can't say i wasn't shocked when she said she wanted out, that she didn't want her crazy buddy anymore, and i was happy that she realized what i knew all along, but i was NOT happy when she got hurt pretty bad. because i was hurt too, and the last person i wanted to walk out of my life was my best friend, so i begged. I begged her. I never beg. I have never begged anyone ever before. Not my dad, not my mom, nobody. God, yeah. but duh. anyway. she wanted out.

the other day i was in front of our school with tezza, ray, bai and rigel, waiting for rigel's dad to pick us up and take us to one of the probable locations of the movie-yes, rigel and i are not groupmates, but he is reallll good friends with ray, so anyway. i saw her pass on a tricycle, and i was so shocked to see her, i wasn't able to like snob her and stuff, but she did. so i thought she was still mad at me. she's mad at me. she hates me.

so last night she sends out this message that goes like, "you'll always be my bestfriend. :(" and i was like, OH NO YOU DIDN'T! liar liar pants on fire.

So is it gonna me who has to make the first move again? geez. di mo alam pano? talk to me. call me. message me. because srsly, I am sick and tired of having to chase you around, woman. Talk to me. Don't make stupid blog posts making you look like ikaw lang ang nawalan, because FYI, ako rin, okay?

But if you're not gonna make that move, then I'm sorry. GET OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE. stop making me miserable, because i already am. It's so hard to forget, especially when you're being all cryptic.

too good to be true.

2010-01-20T16:04:00.005+08:00

at last. physics is over.
i was under the impression that monthly exams were on thursday and friday, turns out i was wrong.
so physics was horrible. Yesterday Sir Tomas said that the heat transfer thing was gonna count for only 10 points, which was great news for me cause I know nothing about solving heat, even though everyone's saying it's wayy easier than mapping or projectile motion. then i find out that it's worth 40 points, so yeah. dating gawi. lulz

we got our cards last Monday, and the academic ranking[nay extra-curricular points] was announced right after. I ranked #10. I was like, what? Vanessa España or Vanessa LIM?!
and Rigel was furious. lolz. he didn't get the best in physics award this quarter--Paolo Batislaong did, so guess what Rigel did. He stopped talking to me and called Paolo his "new friend". What a jerk! whatever. I totally crammed last night, and now my eyes hurt like HELL. and this morning, my eyesight got blurry for like a minute or two. I may have sore eyes. or I'm just getting blind. [by blind i mean i'm gonna start needing glasses.] dayumm.

So anyway. We had an oral exam for religion yesterday, and i got unity. I had to say something about unity for a minute or more, and i literally sucked. I was laughing and covering my face and everything. When the bell rang we asked our teacher, Sir Javison what was the highest score, and he said it was 53/60, and the lowest.. 29/60. That's my grade, and I failed. lovely.

We still have Filipino, PEHM and Math tomorrow. I'm really liking math now.

I want to make kwento about the movie soo bad, but then the other group's director, flery, visits my blog, and it's supposed to be top secret. I promise, though-to post the trailer here. (:

prom

2010-01-17T15:25:00.003+08:00

I guess I was so preoccupied with all the requirements, I completely forgot about prom, until we had this social etiquette seminar last friday. now I'm wracking my brain on what to wear. I want to wear my dream gown, but then i would be wasting money, cause you know.. it's only one night. damn it. i don't even feel like going to prom! we're not having any partners, and i've already been in two high school proms, i'm good.

exams on thursday and friday. and physics is gonna be horrible, i bet. we're taking all the topics from first quarter, and our physics teacher is gonna watch us, so yeah. epic phail.

crap. my procrastination is finally catching up on me. lovely.

This is what we call a disaster in the making.

2010-01-15T19:22:00.005+08:00

When tito Bill died, I also thought of Daddy. I thought of how lucky Leonard and his siblings were for getting to see their father everyday, be with him especially on special occasions, all before he died. I thought of how unfortunate I was. That my father, though he is alive, I cannot see him. I cannot even talk to him well. I cannot even text him, "Daddy, I love you! I miss you!" because I have just found out that somebody else has been replying to my texts. And I hope you all know who that someone is. Because if you don't, then don't bother asking. It just sucks, knowing that Daddy is there, but he can't be that to me. He used to be my best friend. When everyone was fighting over my mom, I would sneak away and bond with Daddy. We used to just sit in the car and listen to the Beatles[Tito Bill made him a copy of their every song], or just talk about life. Last summer my cousins and I talked about him. They told us that it didn't matter if he was a bad husband, what mattered more was that he was a good Dad. But what if, even that, he can't do?

When my mom finally moved out with my siblings, I stayed behind. Because I loved him so much. It's crazy, I know. I never hated him. I just hated what he's become. And that made me mature super fast. All those things I just had to face on my own. I have found God as my refuge. But of course, God isn't daddy. God doesn't listen to the Beatles. He doesn't get mad when I decide to have a boyfriend from Tacurong.

Time's running out. And I just sit here. disappointed and hurt, because he's way too confused to make a decision.

My favorite love song ever:

If I fell - the Beatles

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
'cause I've been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you, oh please
Don't run and hide
If I love you too, oh please
Don't hurt my pride like her
'cause I couldn't stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
cause I couldn't stand the pain
and I would be sad if our new love was in vain

so I hope you see that I
would love to love you
and that she will cry when she learns we are two.

If I fell in love with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0numxvac4E&feature=related

superhuman meh.

2010-01-09T12:24:00.000+08:00

movie for english
case study for religion
schoolpaper for filipino

all in a month. yeah. i'm busy. (:

photoshop. (:

2010-01-03T17:03:00.002+08:00

so for the investigatory project- done in less than a week, we missed having the control--pot c. i have photoshop and lazy days in front of the computer to thank for this. (:

gotta go, i have stuff to finish pa. ciaoo

in the meantime, check this out:

as 2009 ends...

2009-12-31T17:39:00.004+08:00

i'm going to keep this short. (:
lots of stuff happened this year, the latest me getting drunk for the first time. me and my cousins drank 2 and a half bottles of vodka, and mann. the hangover was horrible. so not doing it again.
also, Yssa and I are dunzo. But hey. Arnem and I are officially friends now, which is awesome.

I only have one resolution: I wanna depend on myself more. I want to be able to let go of everything and everyone I can't control, cause I will only hurt from them. The only person I can control is myself. How I do things, how i react, who i talk to. It's all about being proactive...chos.

Happy New Year Guys! (:

on the verge of tumblin[g]. (:

2009-12-28T17:13:00.003+08:00

Time sure flies fast, huh? Classes are gonna be back on the 4th, which means I have to go back to school mode all over again. I have about 20 pages of economics to be copied from Anne's notebook, plus the investigatory project we have to finish. shitload.

I felt lonely. Pakiramdam ko wala akong kwenta dahil tinataboy ako ng mga mahal ko sa buhay. Like I’ve said before, I hope history won’t repeat itself. History has it’s way of haunting you, just with different people.

tumblr seems pretty cool, but I think it'll make me go tamad with actual blogging, soo. :D

Best Friends For Never

2009-12-26T19:46:00.001+08:00

I'm done.

"Christmas Runway"

2009-12-20T16:18:00.004+08:00

so ate Danja's home too soon, and I am just so irritated with her cause she's always hogging the telly, watching anime all day-and i don't even like anime. the only anime i watch is Detective Conan, that's it. But her, gahh. She watches everything on Animax and TV 5. [kulang na lang HeroTV, ewww.]

One of the few things I like about her though, is her taste for movies and books. We love movies. But she likes to spend money watching them in cinemas while I hate watching movies in cinemas[too loud]. Anyway, we saw Law Abiding Citizen yesterday. I love it. I used to think it was just another stupid old men movie but it's not. It's really cool. After that The Blind Side was on, and we wanted to watch. But it was already 12 in the morning, and we had to get to bed for Simbang Gabi, soo yeah. Maybe I'll catch it again some time.

I got a wallet for teh Christmas Party, the one I've been eyeing for months now. Ian picked me, and it was so much fun. He gave me an empty box, and I was mortified. Yun pala, the wallet was in a gift bag. Rigel got me a stuffed toy-and like I said, i hate stuffed toys. But he's my friend, and I should be thankful he even got me something in the first place. So I named the thing Rigel. only it's pronounced the proper way, like the star. Bruce got me this sling-which he looves giving away when he has no idea what to get someone, and Janilyne got me a miniature Stitch in pink. Another stuffed toy, but hey.
I got Spain a Sarah Geronimo CD, and it's her first original Sarah Geronimo CD, and she was just speechless. She just looked at me, said thank you then hugged me and said "wala akong masabi." woo-hoo! (:

If you haven't seen the Facebook photos or my Twitter, then there. I'm the third girl from the left on the bottom. (: Everyone was shocked with how I looked--which was amazing because for the first time evah, I wore something I actually wanted for Christmas Party. yay! (:

Been hanging out a lot at Tito Bill's place, playing Restaurant City on his Facebook account. Leonard figured out how to make his employees work super fast and level up just as fast. The restaurant is huge now. I might go back later. Might.

Its Heartbreak Warfare

2009-12-17T11:37:00.004+08:00

Tons of people died this year. From celebrities to my classmate and my teacher's dads. But I wasn't so affected. It's not like I knew them personally or shared jokes with them, right? Sure, I saw them in school, but this is different. This is entirely different.

William B. Quijano, Tito Bill Pogi to me, is one heck of a tito for me. He's just freaking awesome. He was the one who'd fix our computer when I still didn't know how to get rid of the viruses on the computer, he was the one who introduced me to Jimmy Smith.. gahd. It's just too soon. Last time I saw him up was that Saturday when Val and I went to Marbel, he was at this carwash place with the IPV. It's just crazy, my brother, daddy, mommy, Valerie, everyone's just heartbroken. During Simbang Gabi I was already tearing up, and while I prayed my usual prayer of the dead after communion I thought I forgot someone, and I was like, shit. si Tito Bill. After that we went to the hospital and there he was. Gahd. I just broke down man.

So this is how it feels when someone you love leaves you.
Christmas party tomorrow. I'd love to talk about the exam and my dress and Spain's gift, but it doesn't feel right.

trust

2009-12-14T16:13:00.004+08:00

woaaahh. erase, erase.

insert to last post:

i got something wrong. sure, I don't know Yssa that much anymore, I don't know what she likes, what she's like, yadda yadda yadda... BUT. I know something's for sure. She's there. Have you ever read one of those cheezy quotes about how friends are "andito lagi, wala nga lang nagpaparamdam."? That's exactly her. I can trust her. And whenever I need her, she's just there. always. Same as it is for her to me. And that is wayyy better than having someone to talk to all the time, someone to text, to IM, and take photos with who you can't trust. Who'll drop you like a hot potato. I miss her too much. Now I'm scared of how further apart we'll be in college. dang it.

let go?

2009-12-13T15:20:00.002+08:00

Vanessa Marie D. Lim

Noong ika-18 araw ng Mayo,
Nagsimula ang aking kwento
Nang pinanganak ako
Kasama si Valerie, kambal ko.

Vanessa ang binigay sa'king pangalan
Hindi ako palakaibigan
Ngunit pag ako'y nakilala mo na,
Natitiyak kong matutuwa ka.

Maraming nagsasabing ako'y matapang, masungit
Dahilan kaya't marami akong kagalit
Gustuhin ko mang sarili'y magbago,
Mahirap, kaya't ako na lamang ay nagpapakatotoo.

Sampung taong gulang pa lamang ako,
Nang nagsimulang gumuho ang aking mundo
Akala ko noon ito'y perpekto
Pero mali pala, kaya't nagpakatatag ako.

Sa lahat ng aking mga karanasan
Na sukdulan ng pait,
Hinding-hindi ko nalilimutan
Na may kakampi akong nasa langit.

Malapit rin ako sa aking ama,
at lagi naman kaming nagtatalo ni ina
Magkaiba kasi kami ng pananaw sa buhay,
Kaya't mahirap para sa akin na iisa kami ng bahay.

Sa darating na Marso'y magtatapos na ako,
Buhay kolehiyo ang bagong laban,
Hindi ko man lang iisiping sumuko,
Upang pangarap ay makamtan.

Ayoko nang umasa pa
Na tutulungan pa ng iba
Gusto ko nang maging malaya
At tumayo sa dalawa kong paa.

crappy, i know. but hey. I have zero skills with poems, how much more with paggawa ng tula, right? anyhow.
gah, I know it's old news, but I'm so proud of teh cousin, RD-for being 1st runner-up on Campus Girl. I helped her with her questions, and we bought her friggin casual dress together, damnit! haha. Her whole family was there, ate Gen, kuya Ranger and ate Delle even came home just for the show. soo much fun. and i am so glad that rd didn't get pissed.
i'd love to show photos, but rd can kill me. soo

i saw yssa last friday, too. and it felt weird. i was seated next to ate delle and she was like, "was that your best friend?" and i said yeah, but i thought, "doesn't feel like it though". When I set out to gain her back in the summer, all i could ever think of was how all my favorite memories are my memories with her, and that i could not just let one stupid fight end our friendship. i'm glad i gave it a shot, but was it worth it? when i asked her if we could be bestfriends again, i kind of hoped that she would say no. it was just the back of my head saying that i should try, even though i truly knew i shouldn't have. of course she said yes. she's a nice girl. i remember back in 2007, some girl started calling yssa her best friend and yssa was too nice to react, so i told her to back off. what if that's the case with us now? i bet she's just waiting for me to finally give up, and let all this go. When we made up, all I could think of was all the stuff we've been doing before the fight, late night talks, long IM sessions, diary-sharing, going out. all that stuff. But are we doing them now? no. because we're busy. But what about the zero awkwardness, the times when we would see each other and just talk til it's time to go? Not happening. I miss all those times. But they're gone now. I feel like myself when I officially got back with Arnem. I was looking for all the cheezyness from intrams, but they weren't there. And it hit me. It wasn't a stupid fight. She broke my trust[and i've already forgotten about it] and I broke hers. We didn't talk for like a year, and when we became friends again I was like, "woah. so what now? what are we gonna talk about? what's up with her? do we still have the same interests?"

We're not as close as we used to be anymore, in fact I'm wayy closer to RD now. And it's sad. [yssa part only]. We have grown up. But we've grown apart, too. I want to give this another shot, but damn it. I am hella tired. She means the world to me, and now I wonder if I mean as much to her. But i don't know. When I was a sophomore I wrote a letter to her asking if it was me or the lezbo, and I honestly thought she picked me. So when Inna told me when she was like, "best friend ko pa ba siya?" I was horror-struck. She gave me up. Just like that. I can say I'm a new person now. I'm more open-minded, wiser-even just a bit, but we don't click anymore. Bad trip.

Moving on, I'll finish up my poem, look for a piece for my pagbabalita in Filipino tomorrow-I'm the anchor. IKR
exams on wednesday and thursday, christmas party on friday. hollah!
went to marbel with valerie yesterday, and saw freaking NM on cable last night.
I'm sneezing, and I feel like i'm breathing underwater. I feel horrible.

tired.

2009-12-10T16:15:00.002+08:00

so we had this starlab planetarium thingy today, and gahd, my neck is killing me right now. that dude with the mic aka mr.a was super gay. we all think his real name's alberta. xDD

my classmates were all ooh and ahh-ing, but i wasn't. i've already seen this thing in 6th grade back in montessori. see? my previous school's way cool.

anyway, we had our test for mapeh today and we were all like "WTF. we didn't even meet for weeks! what could we possibly answer? good thing only the interns were there, and we did some good old teamwork.lolz

i'm wayyy sleep deprived. i need to sleep. i also need to find shoes for christmas party, and lots of other projects. i've finally rescheduled my ADDU entrance exam to February 6th. phew, glad that's over.

i watched closer the other day, and it's one of my most favorite movies..like ever. the number one is Big Fish tho. anyway, check these out:

Larry: [speaking to Anna] You'd be my whore. And in return I will pay you with your liberty.

Where is this love? I can't see it, I can't touch it. I can't feel it. I can hear it. I can hear some words, but I can't do anything with your easy words.

What's so great about the truth? Try lying for a change, it's the currency of the world

Deception is brutal. I'm not pretending otherwise.

Anna to Dan:He tastes like you but sweeter!

~sounds familiar? how about this:~

Alice/Jane: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off... but it's better if you do.

and these others from this movie i saw in fifth grade, Little Black Book:

Question how does a girl who falls, no actually jumps eyes wide open, down a rabbit hole, plummeting into chaos come out unchanged?

- Answer, she doesn't.

Perhaps luck exists somewhere between the world of planning, the world of chance, and the peace that comes from knowing that u just cant know it all

John Lennon said Life happens when you're busy making other plans

Life's funny like that, once we let go of the wheel, you might end up right where you belong .

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

There are moments in life when you hope your decisions weren't rash. And moments where you just know.[my personal favorite (:]

so that's it. ^^

relapse again.

2009-12-06T16:48:00.003+08:00

i want to bang my head on concrete.
i wish that weird wind on The Happening[worst.movie.ever] would get to me and i'd kill myself.

i hate breaks. i hate vacations. they ruin everything. right now it's ruining my mood for school. we come back from the retreat, and i'm ready for school. but noooo, we had family day yesterday and we didn't have any classes cause 90% of my classmates and teachers were out. either they were at RSPC or rehearsing. what did i do? i played Plants Vs. Zombies all week. now we're having a quiz tomorrow and I also have to do a report for economics. thank God shariah did the visual aids. but i still have to report, right? then that stupid poem for Filipino pa. gahd. I am wayyy behind. I'm losing my focus, and I'm blaming everything[stairway to heaven, Justin Bieber, P.S. I love you, dvds, blogging, twitter] but myself.

i guess it's because I was soo confident with my grades last quarter. ugh. I must not be like Shariah-confident that she would still rank first without studying just cause she was already ranking 1st for 3 years.

in other news, i saw paranormal activity the other night. in the bedroom. all alone. *scoffs* one of the scariest movies of all time my ass. 100 days of summer, on the other hand. I'm on total LSS mode with the soundtrack. the movie was soo good.

I need to get my focus back.

relapse.

2009-12-02T16:21:00.002+08:00

Val was at RD's last night cause Ate Gen and Kuya Ranger are having this counseling/seminar before they would get married[supposed to be on December 3rd], and they all ate at Bidz for dinner. I didn't come with cause I was behind school, so yeah. Valerie noticed RD was silent-soo not her. And she was busy texting, and we all have our guesses on who she's texting. and we've already been through with this before. And she's bound to defend herself saying something like, "wala lang to", "friends lang kami!" or "hindi to siya." riiiight. like we didn't get the number and check it with someone else's phonebook. we're trying out a different approach this time, not like the one I did with teh BFF. The whole no friendship = yes lezbo thingy wasn't really such a big hit back then, so I'm just gonna let RD be. Besides, if i get mad at her i might ruin our friendship. I cannot let that happen. I'm not playing blind/deaf, FYI. I'm just letting her learn from her mistakes. ANYWAY

I have four questions.
1) What should I give my kringle. Sarah G album@450, or a really good romance novel for a Tacurong brain? if the latter, what book?
2) We're having a casual party for teh Christmas Party. Heels or no heels?
3) If I'm not able to take teh ADDU exam on the 12th cause I have to watch my cousin's pageant, am I allowed to reschedule after?
4) Does anyone know how to write a FILIPINO poem about thy self?

good luck Mina, Yssa and Inna. [RSPC] :D

and again.

2009-12-01T17:16:00.002+08:00

guess what? i was sick last sunday and monday. it was by far, the worst tonsilitis i have ever had. i swear. i could not speak, i could not swallow my on saliva.. ugh. it was horrible. good thing fadurr came over and brought me meds and kalamansi juice. (mom's at davao cause ate danja is taking teh board exam) anyways, i'm all better now, so thank God.

Bai's still not in school, and we all miss her so much. the truth shall prevail, right? let's hope so.

so, have you guys seen Vampire Diaries? it's interesting. It's like a cross between TrueBlood and Twilight, and less pervertedness. M/T/Th and 8 and Sundays at 1 on Solar TV. haha. just try and check it out, you'll see. Sure, the guy's frowning harder than Edward-whose frown is already annoying, but it's something new. And I'm just drawn to the story. Like why the hell would a vampire write on a diary? and what's with him not being able to go out in the sun without his weird ring? lolz.

retreat

2009-11-27T13:22:00.004+08:00

i got back yesterday around noon, and we weren't able to go to SM and do Christmas party shopping, and we were supposed to pass through Gensan since Buluan wasn't really safe, so we waited for teh principal and a couple of male teachers for the decision. we passed through Buluan, and I don't really know what to say about it cause I, unfortunately.. was asleep when we were in Buluan. anyway, I was in the van with Kenneth, Ariel, Lemuel, Arnem and Janilyne, Valerie, Shariah, Klier, Matthew, Ephol and Sister Carol. It was pretty awkward, when we were going to Davao, cause I thought they thought I was jealous, which I wasn't, but whatever.

I received 23 letters. I was honestly expecting just 2, from Precious and Flery, cause I didn't think I had anything to say to everyone else..apparently not. I wrote letters for

Tito Bruce
Precious
Janilyne
Flery Ann
Aleah
Bai
Christian
Francis *
Klier
Gian
Spain
Anna
Ray
PM *
Kristan
Shariah
Daniel
Rigel
Arnem
Ian *

woah. I wrote 20 pala, cool. But Shariah, Daniel, Rigel & Arnem didn't write me back. Arnem and Daniel asked, but Shariah was shocked as hell, and I just had to write to Rigel. I bet everyone I wrote to were shocked with my sentimental side. A lot of them said they were touched, but their letters were so very non-touching. A lot of them, but not all of them. The ones with asterisks on their names were the people i didn't expect were giving me letters.

Do you guys know that backstab activity? the one with the piece of paper on your back? yeah. the top two things people wrote about me was that i was suplada, and maingay. and the worst was palagi naga-libak, which in my book is one and the same as plastic, and that's one thing I never want to be. Suplada, no plans on changing that soon. Besides, I'm only that way to people I'm not friends with, I don't want people thinking I'm nice and that they can step on me. As for maingay, I'm gonna change that. oh, right. someone even wrote that I was KSP. KSP. are you kidding me? ew. fine, then. I won't talk to the whole class at one time anymore. Someone also wrote maarte, and I was like ehmahgahd. I bet that person wouldn't believe me if I said I was way more maarte in Montessori. Sobrang nagpapakasimple na nga ako ngayon eh, to the point where I actually hung out with people I should have never hung out with!

Anyway, I never thought Elcid would say sorry to me, and that Shariah and Anna would forgive me for my bitchiness, but they did. Anna and I are very good friends now, Shariah and I.. I can't be friends with her. I'm sure about that, but at least we've put the past behind us now. And Elcid. Elcid said sorry to me! gahhh. I was so shocked.

So during the last night, our teacher told us all sorts of stuff happening back home, and I was so worried. It felt weird to have my home be talked about like that, not knowing what the truth was. But I was so scared though. I really didn't know who to believe. We couldn't possibly stay in Davao, because we were neighbors with Ampatuan, and we all wanted to pass through Gensan, what with the gunshots being fired while Juan Paolo's batch were passing Buluan. Shariah even received a text from an anonymous number, saying that women have been raped and killed, and we were just so effing scared. Especially because we have received threats and that my classmate's grandfather is Ampatuan himself.

We got home yesterday, and Tacurong wasn't as "dangerous" as it was reported to be. I bet our teacher just wanted to scare us so we wouldn't have to go to SM and watch New Moon.haha

Will post photos soon.

retreat.

2009-11-23T16:18:00.002+08:00

so the field trip's been canceled. why?

so this kid named William Po Lim from St. John had their retreat first, together with St. Jerome. anyway, to make the story short, he sneaked out of the monastery and got hit by an ambulance(ironic), and damaged half of his body, and his face.
i know i should feel sorry for him and all, but how could I? there he was, on the ambulance with his buddy, telling him to blame our Physics teacher - his adviser, for supposedly banishing him from the monastery. AND he even asked our Filipino teacher not to fail him. the nerve!
sure, his face was cut open and his cheek bones were broken and all, but he was told NOT to go out of the monastery, to follow the rules, to behave... heck, his teachers did nothing but remind their students not to do shit. but noo, they wanted to break the rules. There's even this guy, Charles Nama, who reportedly got kicked out for smoking inside the dormitory. ugh. sometimes, I'm just ashamed of being part of this batch.

but it doesn't really matter if the field trip's canceled-to me, at least, since I'm not coming and all. haha. but anyway, let's talk about the retreat. I was supposed to write just 2 letters- Precious and Flery; but then I realized I had so much to say to my classmates, I ended up having to make 14, and I still have 3 letters to go. I spent most of the day in class writing the letters, and my hands hurt SOO bad now. but that's okay, at least I have letters. xDD

we'll be off tomorrow at 7 in the morning, and I haven't even packed yet. haha
ciao

woo-hoo!

2009-11-20T12:40:00.002+08:00

this is what we've been doing since yesterday. no classes cause teachers are with their sections on their retreat and one section's having their feast day and the other.. yearbook pictorial. lulz

thank you, Bruce, Daniel, Precious, Aldin, Jofel and Lemuel. i have never gone farther than level 2. xD

verdict

2009-11-19T17:27:00.002+08:00

tadaa! ranked 34th in class. my lowest grade on any subject. EVER.
and omg, english was sooo unexpected. im'ma stop trashing ma'am aleta now. after this.
putik, english was soo hard. my analytical skills suck, therefore i failed the effing test. poo. and computer was so annoying, i was so confident i knew everything, i didn't know the codes for round bullets. boo.
speaking of my former favorite subject, WTF? i got a PERFECT score on the quarter exams, and 2 mistakes on the monthly exam. WTF?!?! gahhh. whatever.
i earned Filipino, damnit. i may have opened my book on the quarter exam, but i lived El Filibusterismo before and during the monthly tests, damnit. I read it every night, and stayed in the library at times cause they had a complete Filipino dictionary. hah.
wth economics.

I swear I will:
-clean the classroom even if it's not my day
-lower my voice within school premises, with or w/o teachers.
-shut up especially when people bitch at me, i'll just blog about them. haha.

we had our yearbook pictorial yesterday, and our classroom was transformed into a parlor-not a salon. hello, tacurong. lulz
anyway, so I borrowed Tessa's flat iron, and after i used it i left it at room 104, then some guys decided to play with it, but Klier already unplugged it cause it was already too hot, and guess what? the end of the wire caught flames. just a bit though, but enough to burn the wire's covering. so yeah, Tessa was furious and she just kept yelling at me the whole day. she was soo effing loud and she yelled like Assunta de Rossi on Lovers in Paris-don't get me wrong, i couldn't be happier that it's almost ending, but my mom watches it, so i'm aware of the events. i swear, you can hear her yell 6 classrooms away. so cheap-looking. eck. anyway, gahd. so i finally returned the iron yesterday afternoon, and i am soo not gonna be friends with her anymore. she was SO scandalous-and that's something i kind of am, but i will change it. step one, stop hanging out with people like her. haha

better version. :D

2009-11-18T21:10:00.000+08:00

happy friday the 13th!

2009-11-13T17:48:00.006+08:00

school's been so boring lately. We don't even have normal classes. There are always people missing, teachers gone, pointless seat works, etc. We've been back to school for about two weeks now, and we don't even have topics for Mapeh, and we only have a single topic for computer, AND our computer teacher said that we were having a practicum for the monthly exam. We had the Filipino quiz today, essays- and there's a huge chance that I aced it. I even helped Flery. In exchange of that, she's uploading the pix from wayy back. you'll see-I hope. (:

Speaking of Filipino, our project is to make a stupid poem with our full names as titles, with at least four stanzas. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! ugh. i suck at poems.

RYC is tomorrow, and I can't come. Mostly because I'm sleeping in all day. Try to get rid of the dark circles. (: and study. gahd, I have to stop cheating on tests!

so Janilyne went to Davao this afternoon, and I sent her my ADDU application. I hope she gets me a November 28 slot - cause that's when I'll be going to Davao.I'm actually worried about the test. What if i end up on that probation thingy on math? fuck, Papang's gonna kill me. He's gonna be all, "You have to study hard and blah blah". I listen to him naman, and I'm always thinking of him when I feel like quitting, but he just says so much i don't have patience to type. lolz

My classmates are nagging me about not coming to the field trip with them, and they are just tired of hearing me say that I'm saving up for a new phone; Some of them even think that I'm actually coming, like with Cebu. I said I wasn't coming, but then I suddenly had the money for it, soo. but honestly, I know they're secretly happy I'm not coming. Srsly. They all hate my guts. Ray, especially. It's bad enough that I have to be at a vulnerable state for 3days/2n with them during the retreat, so why the hell should I walk into the pits of their mockery, dammit?! I know I shouldn't care what they say, but I'm using a different approach to this. Out of sight, out of mind, right? more like hearing..or something. LULZ

Random:

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid. [stamps]
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Snorted cocaine.
Failed an exam.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced. [separated]
Cried yourself to sleep. [never doing THAT again]
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do. [i was accused of stealing cash from a sari-sari store. lol wtf]
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand. [wasn't lemonade, though]
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play. [director, BB]
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide.
Voted for American/Australian Idol.
Written poetry. [sucks at it]
Read more than 20 books a year. [but not 20 different books. ]
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed. [i drank a whole bottle of cough syrup, cause i thought it was grape juice. (: ]
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse. [words can be abuse, right?]
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Dyed your hair. [blue and it was AWESOME]
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire. [helped putting out one though]
Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.

feeling blackberry.

2009-11-12T18:47:00.000+08:00

mabibili rin kita.

Kalimudan

2009-11-12T15:44:00.000+08:00

today's the 59th birthday of our principal, and Bangires(them ppl who danced during TANDAA) had an intermission number, and they took out the ugly steps that their trainer taught them and added more stunts to make it all the more Naruto Shippuden.
I want to come soo bad. 1, because I have never watched Kalimudan before; 2 I have no idea what it's like and I just found out this afternoon that it's at Capitol~I honestly thought it was in Marbel! lolz.

I shouldn't. But I can, and I have to grab the effin opportunity! I have to study for the exams next week. but it's my last year, and I want to watch. watch what? I've seen them rehearse all afternoon, and I've seen them really perform this morning. but i want to see the other groups' dances, too. ugh

but..they say that it last pretty long, like 1am or something..yearbook pictorial is next week, and I have to make them dark circles under my eyes disappear-i don't wanna look fake on my diploma. oh well. T__T

next time. study! study!
~after i finish this new layout/skin i've been working on FOREVER.

stress

2009-11-11T17:17:00.000+08:00

so last night i decided to quit reading the time traveler's wife and read this story called "The Grasshopper and The Bell Cricket", and we had to get the moral of the story. I read it like four times, and i still couldn't get it. I don't know if it's because I was so conscious of the typos on the book that i wasn't able to understand what i was reading, or because i was so pissed at myself for not studying because i just HAVE to finish reading the time traveler's wife. I'm a day away from finishing the last two hundred pages of the book, but i must put it away. we had quizzes yesterday, and i couldn't answer because i wasn't able to study.. tut, tut. this morning we had quizzes for Filipino, and it's a good thing i was able to read last night. 18/20. ^__^

right now AP and Physics are my biggest problems. Ma'am Pascua is making economics soo difficult. Well actually, english is also difficult.. what with all the essays ma'am aleta left for us while she's with her family in cagayan; but i can't hate her. not after she almost made me cry when she cried in front of our class the day after she found out that her father was gone. but i just really suck at her essays. our views on things are always soo far apart, and it's pretty irritating cause that makes my test scores are so low. bull

The Harbinger is reportedly coming out tomorrow, and because of my stupid pride, i don't have any articles on it. T__T it's a good thing we still have a second issue. (:

we had the play yesterday, and the script was super serious and literally followed the steps on making moral decisions. nobody guffawed at ours; other groups were PBBish, and May Bukas Pa and Anna's was stairway to heaven, and the whole class had tears in their eyes laughing. Their group got 39/40-the highest. and mine? i didn't believe it myself, then again sir Javison is a very nice man who treated 3 of his students to Bidz(new Mang Inasal-ish place in Tacurong) on its opening day. anyway, we got 38. 38! I was literally awestruck when we found out. woo¬hoo!

So i checked my face in the mirror this afternoon, and my face. oh my gahd my face! scars everywhere, and these hideous dark, dark circles under my eyes. absolutely disgusting. well at least, it shows how masipag i am with studying, right? haha.

note to self: stop watching stairway to heaven for at least a week.

i'm a mess.

2009-11-10T12:03:00.000+08:00

i'm being my old unproductive self again(not that i'm saying i was quite productive before last saturday, it's just that i was busy with school, and that kept me sane and convinced me that i was actually doing something right.)

let's put the blame on the time traveler's wife, or books-in general.

i loove reading, and i haven't gotten such an interesting read for so long, i've been neglecting all my school work. i still haven't transferred yesterday's notes from my scratch notebook to my real notebooks, and i forgot about my physics homework. Aleah has been nice enough to make me my homework, but i bet i'm getting on her nerves. she 'misspelled' pully for pulley, and liver for lever. i hate to think she's ~~that~~ stupid.

and i'm behind el filibusterismo. our teacher's been gone , so there aren't any quizzes yet, but we keep having reports about chapters i haven't read about yet, and i hate having to pay attention to their reports. see, i tend to depend on my sources and research rather than their effortless explanations. (:

guess what? exams are next week. i need to to finish time traveller's wife, or else i'm always going to be distracted by henry and clare during class.

i left the book at the publication office yesterday and i was on the verge of popping 4 neozeps to knock myself out and wake up super early to scour the school for the book, but thankfully tito bruce took it home-bless him! he knew i was going to cry like a baby if i actually lost it. xD

ang hirap magsipag.

2009-11-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

i just came from church, and i am feeling super lazy today.
I spent Friday night at RD's uploading photos from lake sebu, and just like last time, i was up until the wee hours of the morning. then i woke up around seven and went back home to sleep, and totally forgot about RD's invite to go to Marbel to buy her practice shoes for Campus Girl. Anyway, i went at her place later that night to check them shoes out and they decided to use them on the contest talaga. why? because them shoes are da bomb! i can't believe they were from Marbel. and, get this: her mom picked them out. :))

this morning valerie woke me up to go to church, and i didn't come with because i was wayy to tired. i got up around 11 or 12 and read El Filibusterismo, but I just can't seem to get everything in my head. I had to read two copies of El Fili, cause the other one was what our teacher based her quizzes/tests on, and the other one was a more extensive version-perfect for essays. i promised myself i wouldn't touch The Time Traveller's Wife(borrowed from Ate Delle) until i finished the script and El Filibusterismo. The script is crap, but done. El Fili - I'm good for a period's worth of reports. Weekends are supposed to be for relaxation, but nooo. I have to be a good student and suck it up. sigh

I just want to curl up and read Time Traveller's Wife.

nagdadabog ako.

2009-11-06T18:04:00.000+08:00

two posts in a day. looks like this new blog's gonna do well. *crosses fingers.
explanation on the first post.

You're a falling star, you're the getaway car

2009-11-06T16:03:00.000+08:00

this morning we found out that the juniors' field trip was canceled, just so that our November 26-28 field trip could push through. right after the 24-26 retreat. i can't come, because i f0rgot to ask my dad's permission, since the date's always tentative. last time they said it was January, now it's November. and i'm too late to submit my name, so i just decided to stay in Davao after the retreat and have my own little field trip. lulz.

i'm also gonna try to take the entrance exam at ADDU, and now my choices have narrowed down to Management Accounting or Business Management. I'm also starting to think about what i'll be doing after college. My cousin graduated a business course at ADDU, and there was a job opening as a waiter/cashier at blugre and he didn't take it, cause he didn't want his friends laughing at him. but you know what? how am i supposed to end up being manager if i didn't go through the bottom, right? i'll work for it, just like my grandfather. look where he is now. that's something i'll always be proud of my grandfather(aside from a street named from his father, Jose Lim Sr. in Cotabato-lolz)- he was so hardworking, and look where it got him! I just want to make him proud, and be fully independent. (i'd say make my dreams come true, but don't you think that's cliché? xD)

the quiz in math was disappointing. I focused on analyzing numbers 1-4, and i totally forgot the formula with number 5. way to go, vanessa. I also have to read ahead on Filipino, read ahead on Economics, try to get Physics right, and make a stupid script for religion. I'm NOT complaining, people. I'm actually thankful to be busy. exams are on 17/18 or 16/17, and i don't wanna cram. funny. i've said that about a hundred times already, but whatevs. lulz

harbinger! i want to be part of it soo bad, but my stupid pride makes me want to teach teh moderator a lesson for excluding me. it's just so unfair. Anna isn't a staff member, Anna didn't attend the workshop, Anna never attends meetings, but nooo. Let's invite her. urgh.

btw, this is my funeral poem. I don't know who wrote this, but I saw this plagiarized on a college publication. xD

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in gloom-filled rooms,
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little--but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low;
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And busy your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me - but let me go.

photojourn feature photojourn feature photojourn feature photojourn feature... ad infinitum

2009-11-05T16:16:00.000+08:00

instead of moping around regretting not joining DSPC, i decided to make the most out of school today.
we had reports on filipino and economics today, and i had my copy of the el filibusterismo that my teacher uses for the tests and everything, but i was too lazy to read ahead last night. i was so tired, i slept at 8 in the evening and missed teh hubby, justin bieber on ellen. thank you, youtube!

anywho, we had new lessons and i paid attention talaga. i aced the computer exam-i'm not exaggerating, i literally got the perfect score on the quarter exam. it's no biggie, really. it's a minor subject. it's just that i have never gotten a perfect score on a quarter exam before. anyway, all my tests scores were pretty high sans rigel at the math olympics. but i feel awful, because i opened my notebooks and books after deciding that i was wayy too sleepy to study. so yeah, i deserve the super low score i got on economics.

i slept pretty late last monday night, which is funny because lake sebu made me soo tired that day. i slept all day on tuesday, also missing new lessons on math. we had a quiz yesterday, and i got 13/15. boo. so i paid attention to today's lesson, but it was pretty easy naman. still, though. we're having a quiz tomorrow, so i'm confident. (:

i love school. it keeps me busy, sane, and it keeps my mind off those things.

taylor swift mode

2009-11-04T16:38:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling quite sucky today.

now that the whole Elcid and Kristan situation's dunzo, here comes Christian and Ray: and they're collecting more minions at this very moment.

See? I've been way to positive about things that one petty blow was enough to make me want to cry. again. this is not good.

i've finally got the investigatory project done... i thought sir tomas would extend til tomorrow(yesterday was the deadline), but apparently he wasn't in the mood to be nice, so i ran to the college canteen which is about a kilometer far away, and downloaded my partial draft from my email. that's about the only use of my email account now. saving projects. lulz

today was pretty okay. ma'am aleta's foster father died yesterday and i felt awful cause i did nothing but trash her all sem break long for her resentment towards me.

i didn't say condolence. of course i feel sorry for her! but i'm just not that type of person who talks about those kinds of things, I'd just pray for the person. Like Tezza's gran and Arnem's dad.

I was actually pretty suicidal these past few days, that's why i've been off the blogosphere. I've been cussing way too much on my past blog, it makes me feel a brand new kind of low. I've written goodbye letters, and the burial songs and the date and everything. looking back... that was pretty stupid. i should never, never, give up.

anyway, now that's school's back, i'm busy again. and it keeps my mind off those kinds of things. I'm proud to say that i've chosen which course to take. or career path, rather. I'm going to be a banker, since starting a business is too scary for me. (:

I won't be coming to the DSPC tomorrow, cause I got too chicken of losing yesterday during the meeting and bailed, which is bull. I regret letting my hatred towards the moderator crash my dreams of making it to RSPC. stupid, stupid, stupid!

about the crappy url, i knowww it's retrospect, but it's already taken, so there.